


Villain Pub

by Marcthelightspark



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anthology, Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23603509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marcthelightspark/pseuds/Marcthelightspark
Summary: Somewhere in the multiverse is a special place. A pub in a seedy back alley in almost every city, yet it is all one pub. A pub with the image of a skull and crossbones, with two hands holding some ale.A place where conquerors, dictators, murders, and psychopaths can go and relax. Destress from a long day of laborous evil deeds, and even heal the wounds from encounters with heroes.A place, called the villain pub
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Legions of Doom and Gloom

It was a slow night in the villain pub. A few villains sat in the pub, only a few famous DC and Marvel Villains arguing, as well as the bartender, Sheev Palpatine, or Palps, who was bordely cleaning out a glass with a black cloth imprinted with the pub's logo, and a few other villains just mingled or sat alone.

"...nonono! Joaquin deserves the oscar for best actor!" Heath Joker insisted.  
"No. Josh Brolin! He went through all that GGI Work to look like Thanos!" Zod countered.

"Thanks for the support, Zod!" Thanos said, his head popping out of the restroom before going back to plunging the toilets.

"Guys. Guys. Guys." Killmonger said, stopping the argument. "Perhaps we should change the subject. Let's talk about.... best-animated picture."

"Spider-Verse." Prowler said without hesitation.

"That was last year." Lex Luthor said in annoyance.

They went on, continuing their arguments as the heavy metal door to the pub began to hum a theme song as the logo for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was burned into it before fading.

The door opened, revealing a weakened Lord Tirek, Queen Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow entered the pub, small patches of stone dotting their skin as they walked in with a grumble, sitting at the counter.

"Why are we letting these wannabes in?" Kaecillius asked Palps before pointing a thumb at Cozy Glow. "One of them isn't even of legal age!"

"We are open to all villains. As long as they spread hate, they are welcome." Palps said with finality before turning to the newcomers. "What can I get you three?"

"Love," Chrysalis demanded.

"Magic!" Tirek insisted.

"Chocolate milk!" Cozy Glow smiled.

"Coming up!" Palps gave them a thumbs up, before using the Force to pour the royalty their drinks, and grab Cozy Glow a plastic bottle of chocolate milk.

Tirek's glass of liquid magic was a sort of shining orange energy, which bubbled like it was carbonated. Chrysalis' was similar, only light pink.

The three sipped their drinks as Palps leaned on the counter before speaking to them.

"So, what makes you evil enough to attend?" The Sith lord asked.

"Well. We are a group of villains called the Legion of Doom...." Tirek began.

"Hey! We are the Legion of Doom!" Comic Lex, Sinestro, Cheetah, Joker, and Scarecrow said in unison as they growled.

"....and we were brought together by a being called Grogar........" Tirek continued, getting some impressed gasps.

"They brought him back?" G1 Megatron said, walking into the bar.

"..........who turned out to be Discord in disguise......." Tirek said, sipping on his magic, his muscles slowly returning to normal mass.

"Cop out!" Comic Mandarin said as he walked past the three.

".....yes well. We got ahold of his Chaos Magic, and nearly took Equestria!" Tirek said proudly.

"And let me guess? They did an asspull and defeat you from the brink of defeat?" Palps guessed.

"Yup....." Tirek grumbled. "Then they blasted us with Rainbow Lasers from "the magic of friendship"....."

A few of the non-Brony and anime villains snickered, while the others who were gave looks of sympathy.  
And then they turned us to stone." Tirek finished, a few of the villains looked impressed.

"Brutality." Scorpian blinked from his mask.

"Yep. And it's stiff too!" Chrysalis groused, rubbing some stone dust from her chitin flank.

"And they did that to a kid!" Lobo asked in shock, pointing to Cozy.

"Yep! And it hurt!" Cozy said, causing some of the more honorable villains to go into an uproar.

"Are we sure that we are the villains here?" Vertigo Lucifer asked, causing a few of the other villains to nod in agreement.

"Well. It seems you have earned your places as villains! Stay for as long as you need! Afterward, go back to doing your best of the worst!" Palps said with a grin, putting a comforting hand on Tirek and Chrysalis' shoulders.

"Thank you!" Cozy said with a gracious smile.

"Darn she's cute." Another villain muttered.

"So. What is this place? And what is your deal?" Chrysalis asked.

"This...is the villain pub!" Palps said, showing off the artifacts and best customer pictures on the walls, and various glassware and tanks of various drinks. "A place where villains of all kind from across the multiverse to rest, relax, and grumble about heroes!"

"This place sounds great!" Chrysalis said with some honesty.

"Glad you think so! Because I am going through some.....expansions!" Palps said with an evil grin.

"So, Palps.....how you dealing with that humiliating cinematic return?" Joker asked with a smirk.

"LEGENDS DID IT BETTER!" Palps hissed back.

"Well yes. But not many people know about it. So all your fans that don't know about Legends will have your name tarnished! Forever!" Joker said dramatically, causing the MLP villains to chuckle.

"Well. At least it was better than Leto's fluster cluck." Palps retorted.

"Haha! You forget though. My new movie has an oscar nominee!" Joker smirked. "I love it that we live in a society."

"Hmmm.....yes. I forgot to say earlier. Welcome to the club." Killmonger said, with Sauron nodding his eye in approval.

"What are these...oscars?" Cozy Glow asked.

"Oh. An earthen award used to show what movies are the best." Palps explained.

"OK. Why do we care about them?" Chrysalis asked.

"I-I don't know honestly....." Palps admitted, putting a finger on his chin. "But, it is a cool thing to show off."

"I wonder, can TV shows win oscars?" Cozy mused innocently.

"Well. They can win Daytime Emmies." Palps said.

"Like SPN!" Supernatural-Lucifer said, raising a glass.

"Yes yes yes. We all know about your 45 Emmies." Palps rolled his eyes.

"And you should!" SPN-Lucifer said smugly.

"Stupid Sin of Pride." Palps rolled his eyes.

"So....we aren't alone in the multiverse. Starswirl theorized about this. He even sent three creatures to another world, so the rumors say." Tirek said.

"Really?" Palps asked. "You guys have a Multiverse?"

"Well, I guess, who doesn't?" Tirek shrugged.

"Point taken." Palps shrugged back. "Well, enjoy your drinks. And as I said, stay as long as you need."

"Where do we go after this?" Cozy asked.

"Well, until you get a spin-off, a continuation of your stories or prequels made, you can work here." Palps offered. "We could use some fresh blood."

The Legion of Doom looked at one another, before grinning back at Palps.


	2. Has been and Hazbins

"OK. You know what to do?" Palps asked Tirek, with the centaur being dressed in a barkeep's uniform. The MLP villains have gotten jobs in the Villain Pub. Tirek is an assistant barkeep, Chrysalis gets supplies for the bar with her siding as clean up, and Cozy Glow.....is their mascot.

"Greet the customer, ask what their drink will be, and serve the drink." Tirek nodded.

"Good, good, good!" Palps complimented, his voice getting raspier with each word before laughing triumphantly. "You have been taught well, Lord Tirek!"

"Well, I can thank you for that!" Tirek said just before the door chimed with a cheery song about rainbows and demons, as a symbol appeared on the door.

It had a single eye in the shape of a key, with a black heart with a yellow background for a pupil in the handle. The key rested on a red circle, with a smile of off yellow fangs beneath the circle, with each end of the smile ending in a smaller red circle.

Lucifer from Supernatural perked up, sensing familiar energy, as well as the other demon-inclined villains attending the pub that day.

The door opened, revealing a tall man standing at seven feet. He was quite slim and had grey skin, sharp yellow teeth spread in a grin, short red hair with black streaks extending from the top of his head resembling deer ears adorned his head.

His eyes had red scleras, bright red irises, black pupils and he wore a black oval-shaped monocle over his right eye.

For clothing, he wore a bright red dress shirt with two black marks that crossed each other. Underneath, he had a dark red pinstriped coat along with burgundy dress pants.

He was also dressed in a red-knotted bowtie, burgundy gloves, and black shoes with red deer hoofprints engraved on the soles.

Completing his outfit, he carried a cane with a vintage style microphone attached to it.

"Ah. A new customer!" Palps said with his usual raspy voice. "Places!"

"Hi, there!" Cozy Glow flew up to the mystery man in a little uniform Zod had sewn for her. "Welcome to the Villain Pub! What can we get you, sir?"

"My my, you are a cutie." The man said, his voice sounding like it came from an old radio as he kept his grin plastered on as he spoke, walking into the bar and looking around critically. "I could just eat you up. And, what is this place called? A villain pub?"

"Why yes, Mr...?" Cozy trailed cutely.

"Alastor." The man said, a cruelness of a sort entering his grin.

The door opened once more, revealing five more demons.

The first was a tall demon who looked around cautiously, possibly measuring her height around 6'1" with unique curly long blonde hair with peach pink highlights. Her lips were black and she had red cheeks. Her eyes were black and her sclera is the coloration of light yellow. Her eyelids have a contrasting pink shadow, they also seem to be decorated with gray eye shadow. She wore a black bow tie, a white shirt underneath her pink-colored tuxedo, paired with aubergine colored trousers and long black suspenders.

The second one was a small one-eyed demon, akin to a cyclops, with her eye being made up of a hot pink and orange sclera with a light yellow iris that darted around the pub.

She had short yet fluffy pink hair with a yellow undertone. Her teeth were sharp and light yellow, and she had pink dots at each end of her mouth. Her attire was themed after the 50s, as she wears a dark pink scarf, a white shirt with pink dots which appear to have a slight dripping design, along with a pink skirt with a poodle design and yellow dots.

She also has small limbs of dark pink coloration.

The third was an anthropomorphic cat with a casino playing-card theme who walked in with a grimace.

His fur was taupe-colored, overlayed with white fur on his face, torso, feet, and upper arm. He had long red eyebrows with dark red vertical stripes near the tips, a black heart above each eyebrow, and his eyes were brown with orange pupils. His tail was brown and long, ending with some large "plume-like" fur, which was red with black and white stripes, and it slumped weakly like his shoulders. His wings were large in size and red, with black stripes and suits markings. The insides of his ears were white with dull pink stripes, and were eternally hunched down. He wore a black top hat with a red hatband, a golden hat decoration, a red bowtie, and a darker shade of taupe ankle braces.

The fourth was a slim demon with slightly dark gray skin, who was also the most cautious and held a spear of some sort.

Her hair was white, with light pink stripes at the ends, and she wore a big pink bow in it. Her right eye was a light yellow and her sclera was light pink. Her left eye was missing and instead was replaced by a pink X.

She was wearing a pastel goth-like outfit. Her mini dress was white with light-navy blue X's on the chest, a frill at the bottom, and a belt, and all items were the same color. She also wore light-navy blue evening gloves and a choker of the same color. Her right stocking was light-navy blue and her left stocking had light-pink stripes.

The third demon is was one of the tallest, with him standing around eight feet tall, he had a slender build with fluffy white hair and pink details on his fur, including a pink heart on the back of his head. He wore notable eye shadow and eyeliner and while both of his irises were pink, his left eye has a dark sclera and no pupil. He also possesses a single golden fang among his sharp, venomous teeth.

One of his most noticeable features was his prominent chest that resembled a woman's breasts. The chest is composed entirely of fur, pushed up by the tightness of his jacket.

His attire consisted of a white suit with pink stripes, a black and pink bow tie, a black choker, pink gloves, a black miniskirt, and long black thigh high heel boots.

"I don't recall this being a room in the hotel....." the first demon mused to herself.

"Oooooooohhhh...definitely cleaner than most of the hotel!" The small demon said with glee.

"Hmm. It has booze. That's all I care about." The cat demon said with a monotonousness, sitting down at the bar.

"Hun, we don't know who all these people are! We should leave!" The fourth demon said to the first, her spear jabbing at the patrons of the bar for emphasis.

No weapons allowed in the bar! A large, fat yellow dragon Esque creature with a green piked turtle shell adorning his back said, his words appearing in a speech bubble next to his head.

The moth goth girl raised her remaining eyebrow, yet looked around for a place to put the spear, before finding a weapons rack nearby. With a sigh, she obeyed and put it down.

"Thank you." The dragon-turtle said, before going back to wherever he was.

"OK, what the Hell is this place?" The first demon asked Tirek, the rest of the group sitting down at the counter.

"This is the Villain Pub! A place for sinners, psychopaths, dictators, conquerors and just the simple villain to sit down, have a drink. Exchange stories of villainy! Muse on how we aren't so different from the so-called heroes!" Tirek explained grandly, getting a thumbs up from Palps on the side before e continued. "Now, what makes you villainous enough for the pub to call out to you?"

"Call out?" The spider demon asked curiously.

"Yes. Call out. You see, we serve a.....very specific clientele: villains. This bar is for villains only, none of those annoying and pesky heroes! So, this bar has an enchantment on it, calling out only to villains. Sure, there are isekis and cafes and the like, and they're all well and good, but we want to be sure we are only serving doers of evil!" Tirek said proudly. "Now. What makes you evil enough that the bar called out to you bunch?"

The demons looked to each other, before the first demon spoke.

"I suppose I should introduce myself. I am Charlotte Magne, friends call me Charlie, and I am the Antichrist. Lucifer's child." Charlie said simply.

A few of the lesser demonic villains in the bar murmured, and others stared at SPN Lucifer.

"What? She isn't mine. You idjits know my kid is a boy!" He said defensively.

"Fascinating. You are?" Tirek asked, turning to the spider demon.

"Names Angel Dust hot stuff! In life, my pop was a mafia don. We were one of the crime gangs in the US durin' the 40s." Angel Dust said with a bitter pride.

"Interesting!" Tirek said before turning to the moth demon. "And you?"

"Name's Vagatha. So far, the only reason I know I'm in Hell is I'm gay." Vaggie shrugged. "Although murdering my rapey English teacher didn't help."

Tirek raised an eyebrow before finally addressing the last cyclops demon and the cat demon. "And you two?"

"I'm Husk. I forget what I did." The cat demon shrugged.

"I'm Nifty!" The small demon said excitedly.

"And, what did a being so cute as yourself do to deserve damnation?" Tirek asked. Nifty jumped onto the counter and whispered in the centaur's ears, causing his eyes to widen in shock as she sat back down. "That..........OK. You know, Mr. Alastor, I never asked, what did you do?"

"Oh? Little ole me? I was a radio host in life, as well as a cannibalistic serial killer, nothing too unusual." Alastor shrugged.

"Cannibal.....serial.......yikes," Tirek blinked before shaking his head. "What can I get you guys?"

"Tea for me and Nifty." Alastor said with boredom.

"Cutty, straight up," Angel Dust said simply.

"Whiskey," Vaggie said simply.

"Some water for me," Charlie said with a smile.

"Coming right up!" Tirek said, turning around and going to get their drinks, taking some glasses and filling them before sliding them to the demons.

"This is some good shit," Angel complimented, sipping on his Scotch.

"Why thank you!" Tirek said as the group continued to sip their drinks.

"So.....how long has this place existed?" Charlie asked, drinking her water.

"I uh...." Tirek wasn't sure. He looked to Palps, who was still observing. He silently asked for some help, and, through a sigh and roll of the eyes, Palps walked over.

"No one is really sure..... I just found it one day after the explosion of the Death Star II." Palps admitted.

"Interesting." Charlie nodded. "So. Since the Bar 'reached out' to us, when we open that door, it will always take us to the here?"

"Yes! At least till closing time. Then that room goes back to whatever it was." Palps explained.

"Guess I'll wait to get my strap-on later," Charlie muttered before replying. "Guess that makes sense."

"What if you are in the room or area all ready when the bar opens?" Vaggie asked.

"Oh. That room remains the same, and if you open that door while in the room, it'll lead to what is normally outside that room. In this case, your hotel." Palps explained.

"OK. That's good." Vaggie nodded.

"Got any spots open for a cleaner?" Nifty asked excitedly.

"I guess so. Why? Want to sign up?" Palps asked with a smirk.

"Hell yes! You can always use some extra pay in Hell!" Nifty nodded.

"Do you speak Japanese?" Palps asked.

"Uh, I do. Why?" Nifty asked with a blink.

"We are expanding to other realms, including Anime villains. That means a few might be...undubbed." Palps said in his usual froggy manner.

"Then count me in!" Nifty said, extending her hand.

Palps took the small hand and shook it firmly.

"Welcome to the Villain Pub family."


End file.
